There's definitely something unique about my generation's attitudes towards relationships and family pursuits (or lack thereof). The 'Noughties' seems to be gearing towards the preservation of the individual. I for one am guilty of this. We're all fucked up and bitter before we've even started and if we're not, we're deeply rooted in our own little ways and are sure as hell not going to let anyone get in the way of that. I mean, who really wants to suffer the difficulties of keeping another person happy? Not to say that no one cares about one another. To the contrary. We're all hopeless romantics, firm fans of Wes Anderson movies, Zach Braff sensitivities and Spaced-style platonic relationships that might be something more. That said, we wouldn't know true love if it walked up to us and introduced itself, and will almost certainly sabotage the whole thing by convincing ourselves that it wasn't working. In fact 'true love' terrifies us because unless we can be certain that it is, it could result in an embarrassing blow to our pride when it falls down around us leaving us feeling vulnerable and laid bare. We know that we are truly unique and yet we still hold out for a partner just like us. Someone who likes the same obscure German expressionist movies, enjoys a bit of jazz, who hates going to the pub, doesn't smoke, likes taking walks in the rain etc. Everyone else is just... well... a disappointment.
Saturday 26 July 2008
This Modern Love
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3 comments:
You'll meet that expressionist, you'll see - and I don't mean a German movie maker. I mean one who can communicate at an actual level his intellect would suggest, instead of being more interested in focussing inward on the vague feeling that he's living in a dream...
I think some people confuse depersonalisation with the fact that they want their life not to appear dreamlike, but movie like: where they're the socially inept, yet flatteringly portrayed male who meets their perfect 'misunderstood' match...only the girl they meet is conventionally beautiful (despite bad makeup attempts and shapeless garb) and skinny (see her later in her American Apparel underwear) and together they rule, in the confines of their own conversation, as being soo much better than all us other dumbasses.
In other words, they've confused depersonalisation with elitism?
It's all so painfully pathetic really... I'm not sure who's to blame for all this either. It seems, like you said, to have a lot to do with imagining life like the movies and therefore real life just isn't good enough, because girls don't always look perfect and sometimes they just want to be slobs and guys aren't always sensitive and understanding but if you find a girl that is beautiful and a guy that is sensitive and understanding the majority of the time, you'd damn well better make the most of it and cling fast.
But maybe the movies aren't to blame. Maybe everyone IS just scared. And selfish. They don't want to lose that feeling of being on their own - it's like it's become more empowering (and frankly 'la mode') now to be on your own and be like 'fuck the world' rather than the old cliche of people feeling lost without a relationship. Not sure what's worse really...
Hmmm. Thanks for your thoughts on the matter!
Oh yeah defo la mode. That last comment, which - apologies, turned into a bit of a rant, may seem slightly misandrist. I have definitely witnessed this trend in both sexes however! Especially, again, those who think they're superior in intelligence and forward thinking feminism. There's nothing progressive, yet alone warmly human about a woman who disposes of whatever's not la mode in her life right now instead of working at things.
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